Jack’s Bad Movies: Ai Love You

AI Love You

IMDB’s Description:

A modern love story set in the near future where an AI building is powered by human feelings. Due to a software glitch, it falls in love with a real girl, escapes the building into the body of a real man, and tries to win her affections.

The movie opens to a cityscape with giant robot buildings. Some of them have arms, all of them have eyes. It seems like these buildings have massive arms for no better reason than to wave at people. The buildings all have their own AIs and names. They can cook for you. I’m not sure if they do much else. In the words of Tom Hanks in Big, “I don’t get it. It turns from a building into a robot right? Well what’s fun about that?” 

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Jack’s Bad Movies: The Scorpion King 4: Quest for Power (2015)

IMDB’s Description:

When he is betrayed by a trusted friend, Mathayus (Victor Webster) must marshal all his strength and cunning to outwit a formidable opponent who will stop at nothing to unlock a supreme ancient power.

My only previous experience with the Scorpion King was in The Mummy Returns. I’ve been absent from the franchise, until now. The movie opens with some guards, guarding something, and then Drazen (Will Kemp) shows up in a panic and says he is being pursued by the Scorpion King, who ends up being Mathayus (Victor Webster). Although they occasionally call him by this title, it isn’t clear to me why he is known as the Scorpion King. They defeat four guards and then enter the temple? and Indiana Jones style try to steal some object. They get trapped by a cage, and then the same four guards come into the place and they fight them again. I was under the impression they had killed those guys outside, but I guess not. In fact, this movie goes out of its way to make sure that very few people actually get killed in these battles. This movie is nothing if not extremely predictable. For most of the movie I would casually remark ‘I’ll bet this happens next’ and it did.

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Jack’s Bad Movies: Doom Annihilation (2019)

IMDB’s Description

Follows a group of UAC Marines as they respond to a distress call from a top secret scientific base on Phobos, a Martian moon, only to discover it's been overrun by demons who threaten to create Hell on Earth.

This movie is essentially Aliens around a somewhat loose Doom theme. You can see that just from the description.


  • Marines wake up from cryogenic sleep
  • One of the marines is a coward and whines a lot
  • There is a fusion reactor on the verge of exploding
  • Most of the marines are cannon fodder

Ways in which the movie is totally different

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Jack’s Bad Movies: 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

IMDB’s description:

After discovering a mysterious artifact buried beneath the lunar surface, mankind sets off on a quest to find its origins with help from intelligent supercomputer HAL 9000.

The movie has literally had a black screen now for 3 minutes with just music. I stopped the movie twice to make sure there wasn’t something wrong with the video (like it wasn’t streaming correctly). Also the “musical” notes are not pleasing to the ear.

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