Bad-Movies

IMDB’s description: 

With the assistance of the Enterprise crew, Admiral Kirk must stop an old nemesis, Khan Noonien Singh, from using the life-generating Genesis Device as the ultimate weapon.

The movie opens on the bridge of Starship Enterprise. I guess these ships can fly themselves because it seems to be captained by barmaid Kirstie Alley. She is supposed to be on a rescue mission and immediately bungles it and gets the entire crew killed by Klingons. Captain Kirk (William Shatner) comes out and says she failed the exam. The moral here being maybe you don’t let an alcoholic tavern proprietor command a major piece of military equipment.  It turns out this was a simulation and the test is of course is the famous Kobayashi Maru. A pointless, in my opinion, test that everyone at StarFleet knows about.

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IMDB’s description: 

Based on the best-selling videogame, this all-star action-adventure follows a ragtag team of misfits on a mission to save a missing girl who holds the key to unimaginable power.

Let me preface this by saying I have never played any of the Borderlands games. Would my opinion be different had I been a loyal fan of the game franchise? Based on online reviews the answer is probably not. Also, spoilers (I don’t normally warn for spoilers, but this movie is very new). 

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IMDB’s description

A dutiful damsel agrees to marry a handsome prince, only to find the royal family has recruited her as a sacrifice to repay an ancient debt.

Here is what my spouse had to say.

You see the scenes shown in the trailer. Then she is in the dark for an hour running from a dragon. Then she convinced the dragon to help her. They murder the city the family that threw her in the hole ruled. Movie over. 

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IMDB’s description: 

Renfield, Dracula’s henchman and inmate at the lunatic asylum for decades, longs for a life away from the Count, his various demands, and all of the bloodshed that comes with them.

So, if you remember the movie Bram Stoker’s Dracula from 1992, you might recall that Keanu Reeve’s character took over the accounts of Dracula from R.M. Renfield, who went insane. This movie instead has Renfield (Nicholas Hoult)  working for Dracula (Nicolas Cage) and becomes the familiar of Dracula ( a familiar being someone who apparently doesn’t age). Ninety years later Dracula and Renfield are hiding out in New Orleans while Dracula tries to recuperate from a near fatal encounter with vampire hunters. 

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